I had another check up Thursday to see if my pregnancy hormone was decreasing or increasing. It stayed the same and I got another ultra sound. I wasn't sure what was going on. They called me back to the room around 10 a.m. and told me I was STILL PREGNANT and it was an ectopic pregnancy (pregnant inside my tubes). This is extremely dangerous to my health and they told me the baby would not survive. They said it could kill me if my tube ruptures or I could bleed internally. They told me I had two options, 1. Methotrexate shots to make me "miscarry" the baby. 2. Therapeutic D&C (which is surgery to remove the baby and my tubes). My doctor recommended I use Methotrexate since I was only 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant. She said my body should dispose of the embryo 24 hours within the shot. I cried so hard I couldn't breathe. They went from Sunday to Thursday guessing it was a miscarriage and that I could have just got pregnant again and now all of the sudden I was still pregnant with the same baby!!! I wanted to keep the baby to see if some way the embryo could move to my uterus but they said it wouldn't happen. I asked if they could give me surgery to move the embryo to my uterus and they said they didn't have the technology to do that. So I chose the Methotrexate. I had to sign papers giving them permission to inject the Methotrexate and to purposely miscarriage. I felt so guilty for doing it. I could barely sign the papers. I was so shaken up. I wanted another baby so bad, and I signed papers saying they could kill this precious, little, innocent embryo. And the worst part?????? RAM COULDN'T BE THERE BECAUSE HE HAD TO WORK. It took two hours to prepare the shots. I had to be injected in both butt cheeks and it was dangerous because of the radiation. So Bella couldn't be in the room with me. It was a slow, painful process. The doctor told me I had to stop nervously shaking so bad because she had to make sure it was injected properly. Last night was painful cramps, and I didn't have any family help. My friends kept Bella for me while I got my shot and I can't thank them enough for that.
I have to go back to the doctor Monday and Wednesday and get my blood drawn to make sure my pregnancy hormone is going away. Rams parents are coming today to help out with everything. I am so glad someone can come. I really wish my parents could be here. They said we could try again for another baby in about 5 weeks but I read up on Methotrexate and its dangerous to conceive within 3 months of using that medicine because it stays in your system for 3 months and it can cause problems in the pregnancy. The other problem is that once you've had an ectopic pregnancy, your more likely to have another one. I am nervous to even think about trying for another baby. Between the needle pokes, heart aches, miscarriage, and ectopic pregnancy this year, I have completely lost all hope. I am thankful for my healthy family but it seems like it won't ever grow in numbers :(
I have to go back to the doctor Monday and Wednesday and get my blood drawn to make sure my pregnancy hormone is going away. Rams parents are coming today to help out with everything. I am so glad someone can come. I really wish my parents could be here. They said we could try again for another baby in about 5 weeks but I read up on Methotrexate and its dangerous to conceive within 3 months of using that medicine because it stays in your system for 3 months and it can cause problems in the pregnancy. The other problem is that once you've had an ectopic pregnancy, your more likely to have another one. I am nervous to even think about trying for another baby. Between the needle pokes, heart aches, miscarriage, and ectopic pregnancy this year, I have completely lost all hope. I am thankful for my healthy family but it seems like it won't ever grow in numbers :(
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